Here I go again……

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….breaking out of the cage so that I can roam around and destroy as I please, cause my mom wasn’t attentive enough and didn’t secure the lock on my cage….

Dad came home from work first and saw me sitting on the cage acting all innocent… I was!

Actually, I was just really tired from hard (yet fun) day’s work ripping the walls and throwing things around.

He texted mom to tell her, “your darling bird destroyed the kitchen”.

He was going to let her clean up my mess but she convinced him to do before she got home but wanted to capture my adventure for her to see.

bird destroydestoy2destoy4

destroy3

Yummy potatoes and yams!!!! I did eat a bit but shredding is way more fun!!!

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I Just Needed Some Excitement

I have been really mad at mom lately. Ever since she got a job, I am not able to talk to her during the day or to coax a little mid-day out time because she isn’t at home. I hate going into the cage.

Every day a I fight her as she attaches the metal chain from the door latch to the bars on the cage to prevent me from lifting up the latch and sliding it out from the socket, so that I can push the door open with my beak and clamor out of the cage.

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I usually make a fuss and try to bite her or…. succumb to bribery with a piece of corn-quinoa pasta which keeps me away from her delicate fingers. Sometimes, however, as I have recently learned from the self-help shows mom watches, it is better not to fight as the non-adversarial approach often leads to a positive outcome.

Well… last Friday, I used that approach and to my delight, it worked marvelously. Mom was no bit the wiser until she came from work.

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Yes, I was quiet, and she forgot to latch up the cage and I let myself out to play! Play for me is synonymous with destruction — I decided to peel away the other part of the kitchen wall…. virgin wall… mmmmmmm

I also threw Syd’s dishes to the floor and let her out too. She gets very nervous when I do that. I opened her main door too and went in her cage… she left and climbed up the trellis in the other room. I decided to keep her intact this time.

Mom was livid when she got home and saw me sitting on my cage door and looked at the wall and all the work she’ll have to do to make it look nice again….nice enough for me to destroy at my next opportunity to do so.

“Mess maker, mess maker…

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….make me a mess! ” That is what mom says to me every day. Or at least that is what I hear. I think perhaps she might be asking me not to make a mess. It is hard for me to distinguish between certain words as I might have experienced some hearing loss due to my incessant screaming of late. It is spring time you know. In any case, I decided to follow my interpretation of her words and destroy, destroy, destroy! I couldn’t decide whether I should cache my whiffle ball until later or tear it apart right away. As with any three-year old brain, I simply could not wait. I have no concept for time anyway. Here is the result of my hard work!

Mixed media: Shredded cardboard and white hard plastic on wood laminate.

Mixed media: Shredded cardboard and white hard plastic on wood laminate

I love watching mom and dad sweep the floor. I have them so well trained.

Use and be rid of….

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….the competition! Ha! Ha! I bet you thought I was going to write a post about bodily functions!

I know people (and especially my mom) wishes that I was always so lovey dovey. Truth be told, the reason behind my “use and be rid of” is to allow me to be more loving to mom by getting Sydney out of the way.

In my mind, “Psittacide” is okay if it serves my purpose. Sydney is great when I feel randy… [Note: the following video may not be suitable for all audiences – the “birds” component of the “birds and the bees” is strongly depicted]

but I really don’t like it when she takes away even a tiny bit of my mom’s affection, hence, “use and be rid of”.

I like to keep mom on her toes and sucking up so that she lets down her guard and increases her trust towards me before launching an attack. This goes to show that you can never be complacent around white birds! We may look like angels but we are anything but.

No Green birds were injured in this video despite the extreme violence being depicted as videographer interceded after the white bird turned [emphasis added by the overseeing bird mom].

 

Just trying to help

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You may recall that I used the kitchen wall as a canvass for my Dali-like artwork earlier in the year.

I did end up feeling a bit bad given mom’s negative reaction to my work, and the extensive repairs required afterwards. I decided NOT to chew the wall after she repaired it with filler and sanded it down smooth in preparation for a repaint. Boy am a good bird!!! Resisting the urge just about killed me.

Mom decided not to take away my toy allowance so I figured that I should help out in bringing the kitchen back to order.

Gauging the situation

Gauging the situation

Securing the radiator

Securing the radiator

Maybe I should get a ticket in a trade? Other than demolition expert!

I felt really proud to help make things right!

As a bird, I am really focused on immediate gratification. My feelings of empathy and memory of past wrongs quickly fade…. a couple of months later… I chewed the wall once again!

 

Modern art...I just did it a few weeks back. Modern enough?

Modern art…I just did it a few weeks back. Modern enough?

A Bird in the Hand…

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Bird in the hand

Bird in the hand

…would be worth two in the bush…if mom’s hand had the necessary parts.

I know, some of you are saying, “ewww” but you have no idea how it is for us birds during the springtime. I can’t help myself.

Mom is so very happy that we are approaching fall and that despite my humble ancestral origins being from the Southern Hemisphere, I have adapted to the Northern Hemisphere’s seasons (i.e., it is approaching fall here; spring down south).

I am molting now though…on to a new complaint from mom…a big mess of stray feathers all over the place! If we had another cover on top of our couch we could make it a down pillow top. I am losing more of the bigger feathers now as well. I really need new feathers as my old ones get so distressed from all the nest building I do!

2013-12-23 18.58.04– Nice not to have to build it from scratch!

Creating a mess has its consequences. It means that she has to pull out that big red monster that has snake-like parts and makes a lot of noise to clean up more often than normal. She calls it a vaccuum cleaner.

That thing scares the bezedgers out of me. I scream so loud! My anxiety continues well after the monster stops hissing and disappears from my direct view. It is such a negative downward spiral….sigh…

molt >>> feathers >>> mess >>> red snake >>> screaming >>> angry parents!!!

 

Bald is beautiful

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What else would you expect me to say after using my trade (plucking — a.k.a. hairdressing for birds) on my beloved Sydney. Yes, I changed her from a “blue” headed Pionus to a skinhead!!!!

Converted blue-head

Converted blue-head

I take my artistic talent seriously. When I do a job, I make sure I do it well!

Some people will lash out at me saying I am mean, cruel and violent. Not true. Sydney even bows down her head or pushes her head into my beak so that I can preen her. It’s not my fault that despite the same result over and over again, she fails to recognize that I take preening to the extreme!

Estheticians shape eyebrows in humans so  why can’t I highlight ear-holes?

I am a bit of a neurotic bird, it’s true, but habits are sure difficult to break. Mom tries to stop me but I am way too quick for her to successfully intervene at times!!! Ten for me, one for her!

Just a hop, skip and a jump…

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…with a little turbo boost from my strong pectoral muscles and wings, to bound me onto the kitchen counter from the metal bars of my cage.

I am a bit older than I was when I did my parkour exercise in an attempt to get birdy Olympics recognized (the IOC by the way never even responded to my request!) which is why I just keep to bounding onto the counter rather than the fridge door handle. Besides, the whole purpose is to create delight (through sight and sound) by throwing things onto the floor and making a big mess and then bound back to the cage so that when mom comes in to investigate, she can see that the excitement was caused by a ghost instead of a white bird.

When she leaves the kitchen, I will usually chase after the object on the floor, rendering a fight as she tries to get me to release it and give it back to her. She usually manages to distract me after great effort, so that she can grab whatever shiny, loud object that has just grabbed my fancy. Often, it is a knife from the drainboard. Heck, if I can manage to get away with throwing at least three knives on the floor before mom notices, I can start to practice my juggling act! Have you ever seen a parrot juggle knives? Maybe there is hope for me yet!

I was really lucky a couple of weeks back. Mom tends to forget how sneaky I can be. I decided that since she so frequently taunts me with her baking and fails to give me any of the spoils, I would not leave those yummy carrot muffins left on the counter untouched as I have done so many times before. PSYCH!!! Yes, I took a huge bite and threw it on the floor for later!

She was not too happy with me but THAT, seems to be a common refrain from her. She is so difficult to please. Hmmm…. maybe if I say, “please”… perhaps I’ll give that a try!

Prima Don

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What can I say, I like the focus to be kept on ME!!!! After all, I am a handsome attention-getter (okay, seeker) and should be treated like Royalty. All eyes should be kept on me, ALL THE TIME!

I don’t understand why, after over 20 years living with mom that she thinks that it is just fine to read the newspaper in my presence. I will just rip it apart or pull it away and throw it on the floor! Why would anyone want to stare at a bunch of black words strung on a gray page when they can stare at such a beautiful and expressive face!

Look at me will ya!!!!

Look at me will ya!!!!

Demanding I am, but I am worth every feather!

Bare feet on the floor…

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…means fodder for my beak to explore!

I did it again. A little voice inside my head called “hormones” made me do it!

Okay, it was partially fueled by unnecessary jealously. Mom was talking to Sydney and telling her how much she loves her so I bit mom’s toe. Boy, she really was not very happy about it. I chomped down around the web of her fourth toe on her left foot and she kicked up her leg to get me to release. It is a good thing I have wonderful navigational dexterity otherwise I might have hit the chandelier and knocked myself out. She doesn’t know how lucky she is because I could have amputated her toe if I really wanted to. There was so much blood. My beak is like a razor-sharp knife

Her back was turned to me and she didn’t even see me coming. She should know that I cannot be trusted around bare feet in the springtime. Will she ever learn? Probably not. Perhaps it is because I ever so cunning and cute. I suck her in to trust me and am relatively harmless during a good part of the year that she just forgets.

I thought to myself… hmmm one for me, none for her but I was soooooo wrong. She put me back in my cage for a good part of the night to make me think about it. I screamed and threw things about in cage making a huge ruckus thinking that it would help my cause. It didn’t. She waited until I calmed down and then got dad to let me out after a long time out!